themonsteriam

on skinned knees in the park she said "daddy will i ever find god" voice angry, hissing venom clinging to her tongue a deal made with the devil in deceit with broken wrists she dug her fingers into the soggy earth blood beneath her fingernails fire dripping from her eyelashes devoid of all weakness bathing in power that stung her skin she said "daddy will i ever find god" the only answer that came was silence

All grace is lost on you. You're never coming back. I'm in mourning for something that was never even there. Everything is agony. You'll never come back. I drown myself in everything else. In other people. They always let me down. I always let myself down. I need to let go of you. Of everything. I'm fading away and it's all my fault. Changing means leaving everything behind me. Including you. Don't let me fool you, I'm not the same person I was the last time I saw you. I never will be that person again. But I still ache for this exhausting pain. I want to rid myself of it but I need it. Why am I clinging to this so viciously? Why do I n

every time I close my eyes a fabrication in the shape of you sews itself into my fibers like an odd numbered year the time swims by vacantly masked by nights unmeasurably silent there is no peace here not like there was when you still had a trembling hand to your chest worried about me there is no peace here not that there was to begin with even your eyes sent spirals of lava through my ribcage and salt rivers through my tear ducts no there is no peace here there never was and letting go is like scraping the skin from my own bones

every detail is painful but, you see, I'm used to the pain burning embers open wounds festering yellow behind my eyes you sit like the sunset blossoming, blooming burying me suffocating me there beneath the winter air

i ache hard like a fist to my temple shattering my skull i breathe ironically when i no longer desire it i give in to reality however in the end my breath tends to radiate the salty brine of death because you see one can run away from the outcome but the outcome will always be the same

your words left me violent ice from a machine memories, old everyone knows except me all this rage enticing escape escape between the cracks in suburbia lost daughters without mothers burn in the frost

lined paper makes me think of you your fist closed pale around the ink i just wanted to rest my head in your lap and try not to vomit from joy but all you saw in me was pain frantic and excruciatingly loud you never let me in and you probably told your husband about me over dinner between small gulps of water painless